Funny things about Chinese English

October 29th, 2010  |  Published in China - Language, Teaching ESL in China  |  1 Comment

As anybody who has taught English in China for a while knows, there’s a special kind of English spoken here, which has garnered its own term in Chinese and in English. That is Chinglish, or, in Chinese, Zhong1Shi4Ying1Yu3.

What that essentially means is that because students in China largely learn English in a “vacuum”, i.e. without interacting with foreigners, there are certain funny, weird, incorrect or only partly incorrect phrases that pop up a lot.

One of the first ones you hear on coming to China is, of course, “My English is not very well”, which is usually accompanied by a second of squinting and intense thought as the speaker tries to decide if she should say “well” or “good”.

There are others, and I have learned over time that it’s pretty useful in classes to directly explain the Chinese phrase I’m correcting, and then explain how to say it in English. The reality is that most students, when they speak English, will be directly translating from Chinese to English in their heads as they do so; they will not use the most natural or high-frequency English phrase. So it’s more effective teaching to “back in” to teaching oral English here sometimes — that is, start with the extremely common Chinese phrase you know they will one day translate incorrectly in conversation, and explain how to say it right.

For example, the Chinese phrase wo3you3shi4. I have something to do. That is how most students translate wo3you3shi4 (which literally means “I have an event”, but is the Chinese equivalent of “I have a previous commitment” or “something came up that I’ve got to take care of”. Students often say, “sorry, I can’t come to class because I have something to do.” Isn’t my class “something to do?” I have occasionally replied in jest. Confusion. Nobody gets the joke. It’s best just to teach the language and avoid subtle mockery.

Is it delicious? This is the question students ask when they want to know if something (you’re eating) is good or not. Someone, at some point, decided that it would be a good idea to translate the Chinese phrase “hao3chi1″, meaning, literally, “good eat”, into the word “delicious”, when in fact in spoken English we just say “good”, or “tasty”, as in, “how’s your food?” –”it’s good”

I want to play with you. This has been uttered to me by more than one student, and when I first heard it I thought I had somehow stumbled into some kind of twisted seventies softcore skin movie. You want to play with me? What? Unfortunately Chinese students never learn the correct translation of the word “wan2″, which actually means “hang out” or “do something together” but is tragically translated in English textbooks as “play”. So Chinese college students are always “playing” together in English, when they should be hanging out.

It is very fashion. This statement is the result of the words fashion and fashionable being one and the same in Chinese. And since clothes is a topic often mentioned in textbooks and lessons, the mistake pops up with annoying frequency. Yet another weird Chinglish phrase that is hard to kill.

Can you borrow me your book? Again, the result of the words lend and borrow being the same in Chinese, hence the common error.

Of course, just as there are crappy ways of translating Chinese into English, there are awkward and ugly ways of translating English into Chinese, and I utter them every day. So this isn’t a mockery or a critique of Chinese learners of English, just a short list of things that their teachers should correct them on. I’ve devoted a lesson to these four phrases for all of my classes, and the result is always nice. Just learning how to say these five things correctly goes a long way in making their English sound more authentic.

Teaching them how to correctly use the slang word “sucks” really helps, too. As in, I suck at basketball, my shoes are sucky, he is a sucky guy. Telling the students that suck means, po4, jiu4, mei2yi4si5, bu4hao3, lan4, wu2,liao2, all in one word tends to help them grasp it, I find.

Because having authentic English speakers in the classroom makes your ears feel better, and makes your students a little more fun to be around.

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Learning things you thought you never could learn

October 17th, 2010  |  Published in Fiction, Uncategorized  |  Comment

Sit down at the piano. Notice the keys spread out before you, black and interstices of white. If you don’t know how to play piano, you see a meaning that is hidden by foreignness. Your eyes discern nothing among the keys; but your hands long to reach out to them, to coax some melody from the percussive depths of the instrument before you as easily as you hear it in your mind. You long infinitely for that talent, for that mysterious ability which you know will in all likelihood forever remain hidden from you.

And that gap between you and the person who can sit down, who you see sit down before the piano and place her hands on it, depress one key and then another, open a river of metered sounds, harmonic, rhythmic layers of fifths and half-steps without any evident thought or effort or hesitation, you wonder privately what is the difference between that person and you.

Now you are the piano player. Someone you know sits down at your piano and reaches out tentatively to the keys that are so familiar to you. She presses one key timidly, and then another, and familiar sounds rise to you, and you hear the song that you once played, the one with no chorus, no tempo, no tune at all; the lost song of the hands that long to play but cannot, the hands that are strange to the piano. This person is close to you, knows you, but in this way she does not. And in this way the person in you who knows her does not know the person in you who can sit before the piano and play beautiful music. They are not the same. They cannot be the same. They cannot even know each other.

Why did you sit at the piano all those hours, practicing? What did you want to learn? What did you want to see or experience that you could not experience any other way, except to do this, to become a stranger, in some way, to yourself? Why else would you have sat there for so long, bent in sweet labor over the worn keys, sometimes playing sweet music and yet sometimes only practicing, producing sounds so that your hands would know, so that your hands and some deep part of your mind would understand where to go, so that they would forget that person who was a stranger to the keys, so that person would in fact disappear, so that even if you never played the piano again after this day you would always look at the keys and know, that part of you would always remain.

Why else did you bend over the keys and play alone for all those days and years, except to lose yourself, to become unknown, to change and become a stranger to your former life, so that life could be clearer, could be more easily understood, could be new, in some way? And who is that person who sits down before the piano and looks strangely at it, and produces the music of someone who doesn’t understand, who is only groping in the dark for a song that she can hear in her mind but never bring into the world? What does she see and what does she feel when she looks at the keys before her?

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One brick eaten

October 11th, 2010  |  Published in China - Life  |  Comment

After I had resided in this small Chinese city for about eight months, someone kindly informed me that Sanming residents have a cute little saying about themselves. That is that they all consume, on average, about one brick a year.

This is a reference to the sun-blotting-out pollution that is the signature not just of large Chinese cities but of everywhere in China, with almost no exceptions that I have seen so far — big cities, pretty mountainscapes, small villages that may be located near enormous coal mines, etc. Pollution here is a constant of life, like sunshine and rain.

In Sanming, my city, it most prominently noticeable in the whitish haze that invariably reduces visibility not in any very obtrusive way, but just enough so that when you go hiking you can never really see much of the horizon, and when you go to the mountains with friends you never (or seldom) see a truly blue sky. It’s usually more that grayish overcast color that I associate with the depth of a New England winter, sometimes with a dome of bluish-gray at the ceiling of the sky.

Then also sometimes there is the stink, especially the further west you go in the city. The west side of town is officially the pollution side — that’s where the brownish striations of coal dust and carbon decorate the buildings most noticably, the place where many buildings’ residents seem to have given up on trying to keep the windows clean, and just let the dust and ash collect and collect until everything has this sort of choked, blackened mask.

It’s sort of a strange kind of beauty, if you have the right eye for it or are in a mood to overlook it. If you don’t or you’re not, it just looks dirty, or maybe more accurately just polluted, since dirt is everywhere but pollution is something that we can more easily quantify and identify.

And then it’s in the streets some days, in the coal smell that descends over the city, the sooty cloud that billows its way from the smokestacks at the steel mill (the biggest in the province!) or the burning trash heaps or any of the other numerous pollution sources here.

At first these details, the dirt, the pollution, were overwhelmingly depressing for me, but over time I have gotten used to them, grown accustomed to the sight of coal-streaked buildings (almost all of them look this way, which is why when I first arrived in Sanming I pointed to a cluster of buildings on the horizon and asked my liaison, Are those buildings burned?), and the loud, chaotic, playfully and rambunctiously and unpredictably polluted streets.

It’s part of life here and I can’t say I like it or hate it. It just is, as I wrote somewhere else in some failed fiction no one will ever read, like the high of one’s ears or the length of one’s nose or the color of one’s skin.

The clock just passed midnight which means as of today I’ve consumed a complete Sanming brick. Happy China birthday.

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10 minutes in Starbucks

October 10th, 2010  |  Published in China - Language, China - Life  |  1 Comment

I went to Fuzhou this weekend and wanted to share an interesting experience I had going to Starbucks.

We don’t have a Starbucks in my city, and there are few in this province, so whenever I get a chance to go to one I take it. It’s like fucking Christmas every time I go. Suddenly I step from the loud chaotic uncomfortable unfamiliar world of China into an environment that totally sates every base craving I could have as an American: the corporate decor and smooth featureless music and padded overpriced comfort that is Starbucks.

The interesting thing about this trip was that my companion, a Japanese girl who teaches Japanese history in Fuzhou and whose name is Mami, does not speak English and so would have to order in Chinese. And of course I speak English and Chinese but not Japanese. And the tellers at Starbucks usually speak pretty good English and of course Chinese. And whenever I go to Starbucks I order in English because I don’t know the words for “grande black coffee, no room, with a ham and cheese panini” in Chinese (well, I don’t know grande or panini). So I took the lead and tried to order for Mami.

The problem is that when I’m with Mami it confuses everyone, because nobody knows until she starts speaking that she isn’t in fact Chinese. So Chinese people always look at me, scan over my face, and then start speaking in rapid-fire Chinese to Mami.

The only problem is, Mami’s Chinese isn’t as good as mine. So she often doesn’t understand and just nods her head, and then I have to step in and actually answer their question. But I’ve found that people usually still persist in trying to talk to Mami, not me…I’m not sure why; I think they realize pretty fast that she’s not Chinese. Maybe they figure that if this Asian-looking foreigner doesn’t understand them, there’s no way in hell the white guy standing next to her does.

Anyway, on this particular occasion I was in line with Mami and tried to order in English, but the Starbucks girl didn’t understand, so I ordered in Chinese, but there was still confusion. The place was packed. She couldn’t understand what Mami wanted. But she had my order, so I ducked out and ran to the pick-up line. Then Mami stayed there at the order line for like 10 minutes, but I had no idea what she was doing.

It turned out the Starbucks girl spoke Japanese and had lived in Japan for two years, so Mami was chatting with her in Japanese. Finally Mami came back and I started to say in Chinese to her that it seemed like everywhere we went together we confused the hell out of Chinese people, but I couldn’t remember the Chinese word for confused, but Mami happened to know the English word confused, so we stood there wondering out loud what the Chinese word for confused was.

Then a Chinese woman leaned over and told me it was wu4jie3, which actually means something like misunderstand. By this time I had checked my dictionary and found five different words for “confused”. Apparently confusion is an important concept in Chinese since it gets so many different words.

The Chinese woman spoke great English, and after a moment she started talking to Mami in English, asking her a few questions to which Mami responded by nodding and saying yes in English. Of course, Mami didn’t understand what the woman was saying, so when she asked Mami, “are you here in Fuzhou traveling?” and Mami again nodded yes, I said, in Chinese, no, we’re both teachers.

Naturally, the woman never imagined, and I’m not sure she even understood after that point, that Mami and I would be communicating exclusively in Chinese, which is actually true. Why would she? Why the hell would a white guy and a Japanese girl, both of whom have maybe only intermediate Chinese skills, be getting Starbucks together in China and using Chinese to communicate?

The whole thing makes no sense at all, but that’s China. And I surprised myself by actually being surprised when the Starbucks people told me they had run out of covers for their to-go cups. Almost as much as it surprised me the time the people at McDonald’s in Sanming told me they had run out of beef.

Nothing makes any goddamn sense in this country.

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The Summer in China

October 6th, 2010  |  Published in China - Life, Travel  |  Comment

I didn’t post much this summer, so here’s a little photo overview of my summer.

I lived in this building for most of the summer in downtown Sanming.

I lived in this building for most of the summer in downtown Sanming.

This is the street market where I often bought breakfast...it closed around 8:30 so I often missed breakfast and was hungry in the morning.

This is the street market where I often bought breakfast...it closed around 8:30 so I often missed breakfast and was hungry in the morning.

I bought a mountain bike and spent a lot of time biking in the mountains around the city. One day I met a high school kid and he led me on an extra long tour around the area

I bought a mountain bike and spent a lot of time biking in the mountains around the city. One day I met a high school kid and he led me on an extra long tour around the area

I taught English to a bunch of primary school kids throughout the summer. They turned out to be ingrates and dropped my class as soon as the soon year started. Teaching primary school students turned out to be basically a failed experiment

I taught English to a bunch of primary school kids throughout the summer. They turned out to be ingrates and dropped my class as soon as the soon year started. Teaching primary school students turned out to be basically a failed experiment

I went to visit my friend Natasha in Guangzhou, China, about 12 hours away by bus. She's funny funny and great, also teaching English. This is her with a Chinese man in the Catonese Opera restaurant she took me to. The Chinese guy sang some opera song (hence the makeup) and then an old woman said a bunch of stuff to us in some dialect and then gave us 100 RMB and a piece of paper with what turned out to be her name and phone number written on it. Weird.

I went to visit my friend Natasha in Guangzhou, China, about 12 hours away by bus. She's funny funny and great, also teaching English. This is her with a Chinese man in the Catonese Opera restaurant she took me to. The Chinese guy sang some opera song (hence the makeup) and then an old woman said a bunch of stuff to us in some dialect and then gave us 100 RMB and a piece of paper with what turned out to be her name and phone number written on it. Weird.

Guangzhou was a huge, modern city where the cops hassled me for no reason. It had lots of Western stuff including real hot dogs, though, which was nice.

Guangzhou was a huge, modern city where the cops hassled me for no reason. It had lots of Western stuff including real hot dogs, though, which was nice.

Guangzhou also had a military school that I checked out and that was really boring and hot, and the kids in fatigues creeped me out, until they noticed the only foreigner on the whole island and I waved and them and remembered that they were just kids.

Guangzhou also had a military school that I checked out and that was really boring and hot, and the kids in fatigues creeped me out, until they noticed the only foreigner on the whole island and I waved at them and remembered that they were just kids.

Guangzhou also had some pretty neat back alleyways.

Guangzhou also had some pretty neat back alleyways.

The city is so huge, Natasha and I wandered into one of those alleyways and it was a city unto itself; it seemed to go on forever

The city is so huge, Natasha and I wandered into one of those alleyways and it was a city unto itself; it seemed to go on forever

Some mailboxes in the alleyway near the opera house.

Some mailboxes in the alleyway near the opera house.

Near the middle of the summer I developed a big burn-like thing on my arm that I thought was a spider bite. It turned out it was an acid burn from some kind of bug that contains acid in its body...if you kill it on your skin, it slowly burns you. It hurt like a bastard

Near the middle of the summer I developed a big burn-like thing on my arm that I thought was a spider bite. It turned out it was an acid burn from some kind of bug that contains acid in its body...if you kill it on your skin, it slowly burns you. It hurt like a bastard

Toward the end of the summer, some friends and I went on a daytrip to have a barbecue cookout in the mountains nearby

Toward the end of the summer, some friends and I went on a daytrip to have a barbecue cookout in the mountains nearby

This was a supplement to the steady, perhaps excessive, diet of Chinese barbecue and beer throughout the summer

This was a supplement to the steady, perhaps excessive, diet of Chinese barbecue and beer throughout the summer. I don't know why the colors are so washed out in these photos...

Of course, MahJong (or in Chinese...majiang)...is a standard social outlet at all similar outings...but I can never participate because I haven't put in the time to learn yet and I am always a little too drunk to follow the rules by the time people start playing this at picnics and such...oy

Of course, MahJong (or in Chinese...majiang)...is a standard social outlet at all similar outings...but I can never participate because I haven't put in the time to learn yet and I am always a little too drunk to follow the rules by the time people start playing this at picnics and such...oy

The summer ended with a trip to the Fujian coast with a bunch of other foreign teachers working in Fujian. I made some new friends, and we visited a university in the area and met some students who cheered when we came in the room but were, of course, too shy to really actually talk to us

The summer ended with a trip to the Fujian coast with a bunch of other foreign teachers working in Fujian. I made some new friends, and we visited a university in the area and met some students who cheered when we came in the room but were, of course, too shy to really actually talk to us

And we took a tour of a nearby river...most of the tour was spent on the bus, though, which sucked

And we took a tour of a nearby river...most of the tour was spent on the bus, though, which sucked

The summer ended with yet another (!!!!) performance of TongNian (childhood), the song I have become slightly famous for knowing how to sing. I got a bit tired of being "informed" that I would sing the song at various events (rather than being asked) and a bit rudely told them that this time would definitely be my last time and asked them to confirm that. But I was fed up and a little rudeness was in order to get my point across

The summer ended with yet another (!!!!) performance of TongNian (childhood), the song I have become slightly famous for knowing how to sing. I got a bit tired of being "informed" that I would sing the song at various events (rather than being asked) and a bit rudely told them that this time would definitely be my last time and asked them to confirm that. But I was fed up and a little rudeness was in order to get my point across

A picture with some of the students from the final performance

A picture with some of the students from the final performance

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Yellow Mountain and the just-missed Sea of Clouds

October 6th, 2010  |  Published in China - Sightseeing, Travel  |  Comment

This summer I moved into a new apartment complex in the middle of the city. It's expensive but clean and has no roaches or rats. And I'm renting a small annexed apartment in a Chinese family's home, so I get to hear them shouting at each other all the time about everything, and occasionally practice Chinese with them, although I think they think I am retarded so they don't really talk to me that much

This summer I moved into a new apartment complex in the middle of the city. It's expensive but clean and has no roaches or rats. And I'm renting a small annexed apartment in a Chinese family's home, so I get to hear them shouting at each other all the time about everything, and occasionally practice Chinese with them, although I think they think I am retarded so they don't really talk to me that much

At the end of the summer, just the other day in fact, was Chinese National Day, for which we got several days of classes off. So I took a trip to Huangshan, or Yellow Mountain, about 15 hrs north by train to Anhui Province. This is the train, the hard sleeper cabin full of people chatting and kids crying and people snacking

At the end of the summer, just the other day in fact, was Chinese National Day, for which we got several days of classes off. So I took a trip to Huangshan, or Yellow Mountain, about 15 hrs north by train to Anhui Province. This is the train, the hard sleeper cabin full of people chatting and kids crying and people snacking. Sorry I don't know why this picture is sideways

The first day I arrived I went to Xidi, a small, 600-year-old village near Huangshan. This is the gate to the village. The villages in this area are famous for being funded by rich merchants who traveled far from home for work and rarely returned but sent all their money back

The first day I arrived I went to Xidi, a small, 600-year-old village near Huangshan. This is the gate to the village. The villages in this area are famous for being funded by rich merchants who traveled far from home for work and rarely returned but sent all their money back

This is an open doorway in Xidi. The place was still inhabited by real people living and working, some of whom were pretty standard in terms of being kind of poor. Which surprised me, because everything in Xidi was fairly expensive and beautiful

This is an open doorway in Xidi. The place was still inhabited by real people living and working, some of whom were pretty standard in terms of being kind of poor. Which surprised me, because everything in Xidi was fairly expensive and beautiful

I walked by a small hotel and they said I could walk to the rooftop for 3 yuan to take a picture. When I entered the building they changed the price to 10 yuan but then a cop happened to walk in and I started complaining a bit loudly and then she said, oh, ok, 3 yuan is ok

I walked by a small hotel and they said I could walk to the rooftop for 3 yuan to take a picture. When I entered the building they changed the price to 10 yuan but then a cop happened to walk in and I started complaining a bit loudly and then she said, oh, ok, 3 yuan is ok

I walked down a narrow alley for a while and then found an area that seemed to have no people and then came to this little garden courtyard near the edge of the village. It was so quiet and peaceful I just wanted to sit there all day with a cup of tea and look at the hills; it actually reminded me of being back in Vermont which is a feeling I don't get very often; but I had to go back to the hostel to check in so after a while I left and went back to Tunxi

I walked down a narrow alley for a while and then found an area that seemed to have no people and then came to this little garden courtyard near the edge of the village. It was so quiet and peaceful I just wanted to sit there all day with a cup of tea and look at the hills; it actually reminded me of being back in Vermont which is a feeling I don't get very often; but I had to go back to the hostel to check in so after a while I left and went back to Tunxi

The night after I went to Xidi I went to the hostel and got a bit buzzed and made friends with an Austrian guy who was also going to the mountain the next day. He was an 18 year old kid traveling by himself and was shy about having his picture taken, so I have no pictures of him. But anyway we both left the hostel at 6 in the morning and headed to Tangkou, and then toward the mountain. The whole trip took about 3 hours from Tunxi which again made me disappointed and pissed about my Lonely Planet Guide which doesn't really mention this detail prominently, and which as time goes on I trust less and less. These are the calves of one of the porters climbing the mountain

The night after I went to Xidi I went to the hostel and got a bit buzzed and made friends with an Austrian guy who was also going to the mountain the next day. He was an 18 year old kid traveling by himself and was shy about having his picture taken, so I have no pictures of him. But anyway we both left the hostel at 6 in the morning and headed to Tangkou, and then toward the mountain. The whole trip took about 3 hours from Tunxi which again made me disappointed and pissed about my Lonely Planet Guide which doesn't really mention this detail prominently, and which as time goes on I trust less and less. These are the calves of one of the porters climbing the mountain

The whole mountain and all the peaks at the top were so crowded that it was barely worth it. I wouldn't go back...I would just go to a different, less packed mountain in the area

The whole mountain and all the peaks at the top were so crowded that it was barely worth it. I wouldn't go back...I would just go to a different, less packed mountain in the area. Anyway it was beautiful at the top despite the crowds...I'm glad I went; the crowds just sucked. And the hike was an easy 2 or 3 hours, even though the guidebook says it's really steep and hard

This is the Welcoming Pine, the YingKeSong, that you see as you go up the eastern approach. At least I think this was it

This is the Welcoming Pine, the YingKeSong, that you see as you go up the eastern approach. At least I think this was it

The 7-8 km canyon hike that you can start from the top is definitely the most beautiful area, but you need a few hours to hike it, which Paul (the Austrian dude) and I didn't have

The 7-8 km canyon hike that you can start from the top is definitely the most beautiful area, but you need a few hours to hike it, which Paul (the Austrian dude) and I didn't have

Just to prove I actually went and didn't just download these images from the Internet, here's me somewhere around the beginning of the canyon

Just to prove I actually went and didn't just download these images from the Internet, here's me somewhere around the beginning of the canyon

Those spots of light on the rock are coins

Those spots of light on the rock are coins. The views were quite beautiful, and I probably would have been more shocked and amazed by them had I not been hiking with an Austrian, who was thoroughly unimpressed and who several times throughout the day said that Austria is more beautiful than China. Which is probably true. Hah.

I booked a tent on top of Huangshan and was planning on waking up early the next day to watch the famous "Sea of Clouds" from the top of BeiHai (north sea) peak. But then shortly after paying the 240 RMB to the guy renting the tents I checked my train ticket and realized that I had booked the wrong day for my return to Fujian, and my train left the next morning at 5 a.m. So I ditched the tent, after the asshole with a sneer and a scar on his face wouldn't give me my money back even though I had paid for the tent 20 minutes ago, and began the 4 hour journey by cable car, bus, and taxi back to Tunxi where I was lucky to find a hostel with a bed left. And then I got up the next morning at 4 to go to the train station

I booked a tent on top of Huangshan and was planning on waking up early the next day to watch the famous "Sea of Clouds" from the top of BeiHai (north sea) peak. But then shortly after paying the 240 RMB to the guy renting the tents I checked my train ticket and realized that I had booked the wrong day for my return to Fujian, and my train left the next morning at 5 a.m. So I ditched the tent, after the asshole with a sneer and a scar on his face wouldn't give me my money back even though I had paid for the tent 20 minutes ago, and began the 4 hour journey by cable car, bus, and taxi back to Tunxi where I was lucky to find a hostel with a bed left. And then I got up the next morning at 4 to go to the train station

On the bright side, though, I had booked a soft sleeper ticket because the hard sleepers were sold out, so I was greeted by fresh, clean-smelling sheets and a quiet 4-bed cabin to doze the day away in, which was a welcome decompression after a few days of frenetic solo travel

On the bright side, though, I had booked a soft sleeper ticket because the hard sleepers were sold out, so I was greeted by fresh, clean-smelling sheets and a quiet 4-bed cabin to doze the day away in, which was a welcome decompression after a few days of frenetic solo travel

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Want to come?

September 20th, 2010  |  Published in China, Teaching ESL in China  |  Comment

I’m not sure who reads this, but if any of the readers of this blog are interested in teaching English in China, please leave a comment with your email address.

The university where I work is looking for more teachers after something went awry with the two additional Americans who were supposed to come.

Of course, it’s a complicated process and anyone who came would have to wait at least a couple of months in order to get expert licenses and visa papers squared away. Oh yeah, and I guess packing up your entire existence.

Anyway, on the off chance, let me know.

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Some amazing things about Chinese

September 16th, 2010  |  Published in China - Language  |  Comment

I have been wanting to make a post for a while about some of the amazing things about the Chinese language, so here goes.

There are a million things that are totally different about Chinese, basically everything is different, which reflects and emphasizes to me every day how different the culture must be. Sometimes it is a wonder to me that I can speak or understand any of it because of those differences. Here are just a few.

Almost nothing about Chinese is similar to English. It’s like a language spoken by aliens, in my opinion. For instance:

Chinese has no verb tenses. Which is amazingly easy. Run is run is run is run, whether you did it yesterday, whether you have done it over some unspecified period of time, whether you were doing it or are doing it or have been doing it or will do it or are going to do it. It’s just “run”, or, really, pao.

Chinese has no plurals. Instead, it has measure words. So the way we say “a grain of rice”, and can’t say “a rice”, applies to every single noun in Chinese. Which means there are “measure words” for everything. Like, you have to say a wei of person. Or a tou of cow. Or a jian of clothing. Or a pian of area.

Chinese does not share the verb forms that we use in English. There is no past tense. Instead, there is a Chinese syllable that indicates that a verb is either a completed action or a change of state (the syllable is le). That means that if you are talking about something that happened in the past but was not a completed action or a change of state, there is no grammatical differentiation between that thing and something that could be happening now. For instance, if you felt nauseous yesterday, you would say “I feel nauseous”, or if last year was your Zodiac birth year, you would say “last year is my Zodiac birth year”.

The polite way to say go pee in Chinese is go “small convenience”. Poo is, of course, “big convenience”.

The Chinese word “pipi” means butt. This is the same pronunciation as the English kiddy word for urine.

The change of state verb form also makes it possible to say things that seem totally strange when translated into English. For instance, a common way to tell someone that you’d like to get of the phone with them is “bu gen ni shuo le” or, literally, “I’m not talking to you anymore”. This still kind of hurts my feelings when somebody says it, but people say it all the time.

Chinese is incredibly efficient at saying complex ideas. For instance, today one of my students told me that I have to shave in order to be handsome. The sentence she used to express this was just four syllables: “Yao gua cai shuai“.

Chinese is a tonal language. Which means that the “tone” of a word is integral to its meaning. For instance, the word “wen” means different thing depending on the tone. One of the meanings is ask. Another meaning is kiss. So I once said to one of my students, at the dinner table, “I want to kiss you for a second”, when what I meant was “I want to ask you a quick question”. Wo xiang wen ni yi xia. The students laughed, and then explained the embarrassing thing I had just said.

Learning long strings of numbers is much easier in Chinese because the numbers are easier and quicker to say and hear once you learn the tones. So in English, if someone read me a ten-digit number in one breath without stopping, I wouldn’t be able to write it down. But when somebody tells me their eleven-digit number that way in Chinese I can remember it long enough to write it down without any problem. Which is weird.

In Chinese, “wo zai he jiu” — literally, I’m drinking alcohol, is a common response to the question “hey, what are you doing?” that in Chinese requires no extra explanation or detail. If someone calls you up on the phone and says, hey, what are you doing? You can just say “I’m drinking alcohol!” and they will usually take that as an exhaustive description of what you are doing with no need to add any more information.

Likewise, if you have to change or cancel plans in Chinese you can use the handy expression “wo you shi“, which means “I have an obligation/event/some kind of pressing engagement or affair or matter. The word shi doesn’t really translate well into English because in English we have to explain ourselves when we cancel plans or have something we need to do. But in Chinese you can just beautifully say, “I’m not coming to dinner because I have an event.” And everyone will be like, oh, of course, all right, see you later.

Last but not least, in Chinese the word for want, need and to be going to do (i.e. future tense) are all the same. Yao can mean want, need, or to be going to do. There are subtle ways to differentiate between those three different forms that we have in English, through context and also through using different words in Chinese. But a lot of the time there is no clear grammatical marker to tell you if a person means want, need, or to be done in the future.

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Factory Girls

September 5th, 2010  |  Published in China  |  1 Comment

I just finished reading Factory Girls, the new book about female migrant workers in a major manufacturing city in southern China, written by the Chinese American journalist Leslie Chang.

Chang is married to Peter Hessler, who is the author of River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze, which was the book that I read immediately before coming to China and which served as my bible on everything Chinese in my first months here.

Factory Girls by Leslie Chang

Factory Girls by Leslie Chang

River Town was Hessler’s account of the two years he spent as a Peace Corps volunteer, teaching English at a university in Sichuan (central China, hot and mountainous and jungly, known for its super spicy food). Hessler had basically no background in China — he learned Chinese in his two years in country, and educated himself on the history and culture after he arrived — whereas his wife, Chang, learned Mandarin from her parents as a kid and got a home-grown education in Chinese history from her mom and dad.

The perspectives these two people provide on China are enlightening and based on years of serious study and journalistic work that is always patient and compassionate and sometimes verges on being heroic.

The two people are also very different. Hessler essentially comes across as very intelligent and diligent, and good at describing peoples’ political views and histories, but he is weak when it comes to showing people as people. In his most recent book, Country Driving, which presents three stories — one in which he makes a solo road trip across China, one in which he lives in a small village outside Beijing for several years, and one in which he spends a few years tracking the development of a Zhejiang boom town — some of his most central characters never become much more than two-dimensional.

He tells us, for instance, that Jiawei, the youngster who is his neighbor in the village for a few years and who almost dies in a mad-dash trip to the hospital in Beijing, calls him “uncle monster”, but we never really find out if the kid is scared of Hessler, if he likes Hessler, or if he’s indifferent.

Chang’s book, on the other hand, presents migrant workers as stunning, headstrong individuals who make major life decisions as frequently as they change hairstyles, and who have real life crises and actually have emotional reactions to the things that happen to them. People express feeling to Chang and she’s able to write about them in a convincing way.

Part of the key to this, I think, is that somehow she gets close enough to these women so that she gets not only their story but also their ideas about themselves, their dreams for the future, however unlikely. She records not only their emotions but also their crazy and actually kind of pretty ideas and expectations for their own lives.

To sketch it out for you real quick, throughout the book Chang basically tells the story of two young Chinese women, Min and Chunming. Both grew up poor in the Chinese countryside and decided to emigrate to the southern Chinese city of Dongguan, near Guangzhou, the third-biggest city in China. Both rose from the factory floor to higher-paying positions. But Chang makes the smart move of not dwelling too much on the hardships they overcame as to focus on their lives, their ideas, their more uplifting thoughts and moments — the very things that the women themselves probably tend to focus on that make their lives better.

At different points the two women pause in conversation to reflect on their lives. At one point Chunming says: “Someday if I have the means, I would like to write…I would write only about the simplest, most ordinary things.”

At another point, Min reflects on the good parts of life in the Chinese countryside: “The life in the countryside was pleasant, but you could go from one end of the year to the other and almost never see money.”

At another point in the book that I can’t find at the moment, one of the girls reflects on the hard life she lived when she first arrived in Dongguan as a factory worker. The factory workers generally worked 12-plus hours a day, lived a dozen or so to a dorm room and got less than U.S. $100 per month in salary (this was just in the past five to ten years). Reflecting on that life, Chunming said (paraphrasing): If I had to go back to living the way I did then, I don’t think I would have the courage to do it.

These are revelations that Hessler never experiences, and they put Factory Girls on a level above Hessler’s work..the distance between them might not be great, but Chang’s ability to see the Chinese people as people and sense their feelings from tone of voice and the expressions on their faces, her ability to wait for the right moment to ask a personal question or to remain silent when she knows someone is about to speak, all these things make the people in her book real and the book very powerful, especially for me, now, living here.

I must say, however, that I had the same experience with Hessler’s book as I had with this one: once I started reading them, I barely stopped except to eat until I was done.

This is a muddled account of these books, and I guess I’m writing about them because each one has been so valuable to me in understanding the world around me here, and also has done so much to expose to me how much I still don’t know and will never know, and to explain to me why the Chinese culture is so hard to understand and why it has always been so hard to understand for outsiders.

A perfect example of this is in Chang’s book. Chang grew up speaking Chinese and learned a great deal about Chinese from her parents, and spent around five years in China before she began work researching the book. And still throughout the book we see how her identity as an American creates unbridgeable gaps between her and the Chinese people she’s trying to understand. Once, when she’s dining with a distant relative to learn about her family history, the relative quotes Confucius and when Chang doesn’t know the saying, the relative’s wife remarks, “A person learns the culture of the place where she has grown up.”

In so many ways, this is somber and depressing, but I guess it reflects the kind of culture that China tends to be — a place where tradition often overwhelms personalities so that tall ideas like nation, culture, history, status all overwhelm whatever it is that actually make a person unique, until the individual doesn’t matter anymore.

That kind of thing is changing quickly, or that’s what everybody says. In fact that precisely what Chang’s book is about — migrant workers like her two main characters move from the countryside to the city and learn individuality quickly, naturally, and remake their entire lives at a relentless clip, over and over and over again, until the idea of tradition seems like a slightly entertaining, and also a little sad, joke.

But then also there are so many ways that tradition is still an overwhelming force here. I’m using “tradition” really loosely here, but I guess I sense it when a student tells me that her mother told her to quit playing the drums so that she could study harder, or an acquaintance confides that he doesn’t love his girlfriend but plans to marry her anyway out of a sense of responsibility, or I spend an hour sitting in a meeting with a flock of people, most with heads passively erect, all listening to someone in some official position drone on and on to no purpose except because that person is an official, and so therefore everybody is just supposed to listen to him for some reason.

I have reservations, for some reason, about the idea of going to a place like China with the goal of understanding it, just to write about it in English and send missives back home. I have this image in my mind of these messages going back, through this long darkness, and then coming across strangely scrambled and mismatched, with only a little bit of the story being told and so much being misunderstood, misinterpreted. I guess I feel that way because I remember the stuff that I imagined and expected before I came here, and I realize now that so much of it was wrong, only a half-truth, a fear or paranoia that turned out to be untrue, or only true half the time, or only true for some people; and sometimes I don’t really know how to cope here except to get rid of all my expectations and try to just let my perspective go completely. Which at times feels like letting go of my morals, in a way, or at least most of them.

For instance when I see a woman beating a small boy with a stick on the sidewalk and shouting at him, or a peasant man beating his wife in the street, and some part of me wants to do something, but then a bigger part of me knows that my morals do not apply here, and the only thing to do is to keep walking.

And this applies to conversations, too, bigger issues. One of them begins with a T and is a big island not far from my city. Another one also begins with a T and is a big, very culturally significant region very far from here. When people talk at me about these issues, what do I do? What do I say? What do I even think? The only thing I can think, now, is that this is not my home, I know already that I will never understand it, and many of the morals I once had are now somewhat distant from me, in a way. I don’t question that they’re still there but I just can’t use them, sometimes, in some situations.

And sometimes that affects me in personal ways, too. Because I am not just an outsider here. I am not just a tourist, visiting here. I live here and all of my friends now (since Tsi, the other foreign teacher, left without saying goodbye and has not returned) are Chinese.

I am also someone who hates very much to have a bone-dry romantic life, and although for the first six or seven months here that is exactly what I had it has not been that way since then. And whatever romantic life I have had has been a strange one, and this is the area where I have most had to let go of whatever expectations I had before coming here. In order to have romantic relationships here I have learned that I have to let go of all of the rules, completely, including expectations that partners will be monogamous, that they will not lie, that they will not try to cheat me out of money, that they will not one day claim to love me and then the next day avoid speaking with me in private.

All of these things are huge adjustments and it helps to have guides like Hessler and Chang in dealing with them. And particularly Chang, because she is more apt when it comes to understanding how the culture affects the individual in a place like this. For example, in her book, after a long section on corruption in Dongguan, she connects the dealings of businesspeople with the private lives of her subjects in a short, sweet paragraph:

Married men who pretended not to be were the number-one dating hazard of Dongguan. Fu Gui, Chunming’s business partner, had been involved with one such man; Liu Huachun, the friend who had recently bought the Buick, had been tricked twice. In a place where people lied reflexively for work, deception naturally seeped into personal relationships. Lying was often the pragmatic choice because it got you what you wanted. Eventually your lies might catch up with you, but few people thought that far ahead.

Hessler, on the other hand, never saw that deeply into anyone’s personal life. In his first book, River Town, he met a few young men who complained to him about the complexity of their romantic relationships, but Hessler seemed too busy being appalled at their terrible decision-making abilities to be able to see why they might be making the mistakes they were making. And when it came to Hessler’s own engagement with the Chinese people, he never seemed to struggle much with defining his role in the community. In River Town, he has one encounter with a young woman who pursues him, who he suspects is a prostitute, and he mentions that he tells her to stay away from him and then ignores the love letters she subsequently sends him; in the second half of the book he writes that none of the male Peace Corps volunteers in his group had a romantic relationship with a Chinese woman.

All of that is maybe because Hessler is a born journalist, and was able to see himself as separate from the people he wrote about and was able to look at Chinese society from a bird’s-eye view, somehow (or at least as seeing individuals’ personal experiences as having little relevance to his own beliefs and views). And Chang also seems to have that ability. Towards the end of her book, Chunming, her main subject, is considering leaving her pursuit of success in her career behind to join a nunnery-like English school of seriously dubious merit, but Chang seems excited and gently encourages Chunming to do it. In the notes in the back of the book Chang writes that she was excited when Chunming talked about studying English because she thought it would make a good ending to her book (Chunming doesn’t join the school).

But while reading Chang’s book, I wanted her to stop Chunming from joining the school. It was obvious that the school was terrible and that she would never learn English there. But Chang wanted her to join. I had a similar feeling reading Hessler’s book. I wanted him to talk to the girl who claimed she loved him. I wanted him to let himself be part of the story, because he already was part of the story. The whole thing felt disingenuous — to read about these Americans’ observations of Chinese peoples’ lives and yet to get so little of the Americans’ actual roles in the story. To learn so little about what they felt, and thought, and why they said what they said.

These are all selfish impulses because they are about me. They are about my desire to learn about what I should do when something completely strange happens here. Like, to give an example, when I fall like a rock for a woman over the course of a month, and then she tells me she is moving away and asks me to go with her, and I have to decide, like, right there, what to do, and give her my answer in a language that I am still struggling to speak.

But then again the books are also grounding because they provide me with an example of what I should do when it seems like the whole goddamn world is falling apart around me here, and I try to think of what these two writers would do, and I know that in most cases it is just to stand still, and not say anything, and not do anything sudden or rash, and wait until the dust settles and go home and think about it. And then maybe write.

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The most frustrating words in the Chinese language

August 26th, 2010  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  2 Comments

The other day I was trying to buy some sneakers, and I realized, after hearing the phrase for maybe the 100th time, that I may have learned the most frustrating words in Chinese.

I was trying to buy some sneakers in the Puma shop in my town, and they informed me, as has every other store in my town, that they don’t have my size.

So I asked them if they could order a bigger size. And they said no, sorry. And I thought about this for a while, standing in the Puma shop, which is a Western brand, surrounded by shoes that you could find in any mall in the U.S., and I asked the obvious question: “Why?”

The Chinese word for “Why?” is Weishenme? And here’s an example of how magically simple and dramatically different Chinese is from English. If you want to tell someone that there is no explanation for the thing they are confused about, if you want to tell them that there is no reason that they can’t do something that they want to do, if you want to drive a stake of pure frustration through their feebly beating heart, all you have to do is add “don’t have” before “why”, and watch their even-keeled demeanor crumble before your eyes.

The phrase for “there is no why” is “meiyou weishenme” (don’t have why). I feel like I hear this phrase every other day here. From friends, shopkeepers, coworkers, supervisors, everybody and his brother. And every time I hear it a little piece of me sqirms and squeals and perishes like an earthworm thrown onto an iron woodstove. And I’m pretty sure it’s the most frustrating phrase in Chinese. Obviously, I’m a newbie to Chinese so there are a million phrases I don’t know, but one of my base assumptions here is that the most frustrating things are often the simplest.

So needless to say I am now wearing sneakers with soles that are falling off, that smell as though they were shit inside by some kind of loathsome golem from whatever part of the underworld is responsible for farts, rotten meat and stinky tofu.

In other news, I just got back from Guangzhou the other day. I spent five days there with my friend, Natasha, who visited me in Sanming back towards the end of winter. Guangzhou has a surplus of foreigners, so it was actually super interesting to hang out with native speakers for a while and get their perspectives on China. And refreshing, in a way, to be able to commisserate with other foreigners about all the ridiculous cultural stuff that drives me crazy here. Sometimes it really feels like I’m in a vacuum here, which is probably good for my Chinese but frequently makes me feel isolated and paranoid and uncomfortable.

The downside of the trip is that Guangzhou is basically the asshole of the world, city-wise. I would never recommend going there unless it’s specifically to visit someone who’s worth going there for (which was true in my case). I used my Lonely Planet Travel Guide to explore the city for a few days, and was totally disappointed. The Lonely Planet guide actually makes out the King’s Tomb in GZ to be one of the “best museums in China”, but it was actually a wretchedly boring, unimpressive, display of old jade remains of a tomb that was discovered in GZ a couple decades ago.

I also got hassled by the cops in GZ. I was having a beer with Natasha in a quiet western style bar and three cops came in, walked directly to our table, and asked to see our passports. I didn’t have mine on me, so they took me to the police station while Natasha went back to her apartment to get it for me. I was a little drunk and said some things to the cops that I shouldn’t have, which probably didn’t help any. In the end they just fined me 50 RMB. But it pissed me off because it completely ruined our night and also it’s not like they asked any of the Chinese in the bar for ID. It was obviously just a scheme on the part of the cops — picking on foreigners to make a little extra cash for the department. And what they hell is a foreigner going to do except pay the fine?

So after waiting a couple extra days because of a dearth of bus tickets back to town, I arrived back in Sanming three days ago. And immediately fell ill to a case of the bad-water stomach. And classes begin next week. But I barely have any. And I have a bunch of private students now so I’ll be able to afford life.

And I discovered some cool music mixes at this site: http://radiomagnetic.com/category/shows/radiovava/